To cry on your shoulder
by lyil95
Summary: Lip discovers Ian crying and hears about all the latest craziness in his life.


After they finished eating the food baskets they got thanks to Frank's latest scam, Lip went upstairs looking through his drawers for a clean shirt. He was just wondering where the hell Ian was when he heard the quiet sobbing from the other room. For a moment there he panicked- what on earth could get his tough, ROTC brother to actually cry? The last time he saw Ian even tearing up was when their mom tried to kill herself, what the fuck happened to him now?

He entered the room, closing the door behind as Ian mumbled "go away" into his pillow. He was lying on the bed with his back facing the door, not even looking at Lip who ignored him and went on sitting at his regular spot, on the desk besides Ian's bed. Long, uncomfortable silence surrounded them as Ian tried his best to stop crying and Lip just looked at him with concerned face.

"Mandy's not here, right?" he asked Lip, still talking into the pillow. "No, she went home" he replied, still concerned as hell. "Fucking Milkovichs…" Ian mumbles as he sat up, finally looking at Lip, who sees his newly beaten up face for the first time.

"Who the hell did that to you?" he asked seriously while lighting a cigarette.

"Mickey"

"The fuck did he do that for? I thought you had a thing going on?"

"It's a really long story, just drop it…" Ian said, looking away. He couldn't see the surprise and concern in Lip's eyes right now. Not right now… He had enough shit for one day without his older brother judging him for the guys he fucks, again. He just can't handle this right now. So he changed the subject, asking "so what's with the celebration downstairs?" just to be answered with "just Frank did something stupid again... Don't fucking change the subject, what the hell happened Ian? If it made you cry it must've been…" "fuck you" Ian interrupted him. No, he won't take this shit, he thought while whipping his face with his hand, trying his best to hide the tears. He already felt pathetic enough, he didn't need Lip's reminder too.

"Relax, ok? I just meant to say that I get it. Don't be ashamed, we all have our breaking points" Lip said and had a long drag of the cigarette in his hand, then offered it to Ian who took a long drag himself. Feeling the smoke fill his lungs and his mind relaxing for a bit, he thought maybe talking to Lip wasn't such a bad idea.

"Remember the time when we were at the group home, and I came back one day with a shiner and told you it was some kid who robbed the store? Well it was terry, after he caught us fucking". He said it fast, in one breath. Just wanted to get everything out at once so it wouldn't hurt so much. Like that'll ever work…

"No shit… what'd he do to Mickey? Was that what the whole pistol whipping thing was about?"

"Yeah, I wish it was just some pistol whipping.. He forced him to fuck this Russian whore in front of me, practically with a gun pointed to my head." He looked at Lip's shocked face and added "Said some shit about fucking the faggot out of him or somethin'... Right, like that'll do it" Ian laughed quietly, his voice touched with bitterness. The tears tried to sneak out of his eyes again, but he just whipped them and kept on talking. Now that he started, he needed to get this out.

"He didn't talk to me for a couple weeks, I just thought he needed some space so I kept the distance. Then today I overheard from Mandy that he's getting married to some skank he knocked up. "

"Mickey? Getting married? Because of a baby? For some reason I find that hard to believe…" said Lip, lighting another cigarette. "How did he end up beating the shit out of you then?"

"Went looking for him after school" Ian took the cigarette out of his brother's hand again and took a drag. If there was a day when he really needed a smoke, it was that day. Too bad Fiona threw away their weed stash. "I thought maybe I can knock some sense into him. To confront him and then he'll get what an idiot he is or somethin'. Obviously I was wrong"… He raised his eyebrows and felt a sharp pain that hurt his heart more than his eye. Every bit of physical pain reminded him who beat him, and that worse than anything. He put the ice pack on the bruise, trying again to hide the tears that are streaming down his face. Too bad they don't make ice packs for broken hearts.

"Hey, it's ok, come here…" said Lip, going down to sit on the bed next to him, opening his arms. Ian hugged him tight, and for a split second this warm, familiar, loving touch made him feel a little better. He laid his head on Lip's shoulder. "Shit I'm getting snot all over you shirt" he mumbled. "And it's a clean shirt, too" Lip replied, and they both laughed for a bit.

"What did you say to him?" Lip asked when they finally parted.

"huh?"

"You said you went to confront him and he got pissed off. What did you say?"

"Oh. I told him he only screw this chick so he can pretend I don't matter to him. Said that he loves me and he's gay, that he should admit it for once". Ian put back the ice pack on his eye, trying to not cry this time. It was hard though- he felt like every word was a stab in his chest. Lip looked shocked, mostly from the idea of his brother telling such things to the neighborhood's thug and staying alive to tell about it.

"Is it true?" Lip asked, still a little shocked. "Yeah, it is" said Ian, "and that's probably the worst part about all of this shit".

"You know what you need?" Lip asked while getting up of the bed, starting to look in the room's closet.

"What?"

"To get wasted" said Lip, raising a bottle of vodka he found in the drawer. "Just blow some steam".

"It's a school night" replied Ian, a little skeptic about the whole thing.

"Well fuck school" Lip smiled at him and took a sip from the bottle before passing it to Ian, who just thought "fuck it" and drank as well. Maybe getting drunk wasn't such a bad idea, too.

"Hey", said Lip, putting an arm on his shoulder, "he'll come around, you'll see. And if he doesn't, then he's the biggest fucking idiot I've ever seen. And a pussy".

And for the first time in that shitty fucking day, Ian smiled.


End file.
